ON THE TRAIL OF LOVE LOST

Sasha Ivanov shares a heartfelt tribute to Lydia and Nikolai — a beautiful love story that reveals the unbreakable strength and resilience of the human spirit.

February 2, 2024

PICTORIAL STORY

photography SASHA IVANOV
story SASHA IVANOV
introduction MELANIE MEGGS

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Sasha Ivanov is more than a photographer — he is a quiet observer of life’s unfolding stories. His images trace the subtle rhythms of human experience, capturing everyday moments that speak with quiet power. Born in Krasnodar, in southern Russia, Sasha’s relationship with photography began early. But it was only after moving to St. Petersburg and studying journalism that he discovered the form his storytelling would take, documentary photography.

His path deepened through work on social projects and sharpened further at Docdocdoc’s School of Contemporary Photography, where he began to shape a personal, independent voice. Sasha’s focus rests on the human face — portraits that reveal not only the subject, but the conditions and histories that surround them. His lens lingers with care, revealing lives as they are lived, without ornament.

Among these stories is that of Lydia and Nikolai. They met at a dance in 1957. Four months later, they married. By the following year, they were parents. Their life together spanned six decades — across the Soviet era, through Perestroika, and into quieter years. She was a teacher, he a military engineer. Later, they wrote: Lydia composed poems; Nikolai, humorous tales.

In 2018, Lydia had a fall that left her unable to walk unaided. Nikolai became her caregiver, taking on every task with patience and resolve. For two more years, they remained side by side until her passing. Sixty-two years of shared time came to a quiet close.

Now, at 88, Nikolai is learning solitude. Sasha’s photographs follow him through this transition, not with sentimentality, but with honesty and care. The series is less about loss than it is about presence — what endures, what changes, what it means to continue.

Seen through Sasha Ivanov’s thoughtful perspective, the story of Lydia and Nikolai unfolds not as a grand romance, but as a lived life.

I met Nikolai and his wife, in 2018. Lidochka, as her husband affectionately called her. By that time, she had already suffered a knee injury and could not move around on her own. I worked as a volunteer for a foundation that supports World War II veterans. This support is largely not material, but spiritual. Attention to these elderly people is the main value. As I got to know this elderly couple, I was inspired by their enduring love for each other and their resilience in the face of challenges.

I quickly became a regular visitor to their home. I communicated with their relatives from France, helped with various tasks, and listened to their creative works. Lydia wrote poetry while Nikolai wrote prose. At that time, they had been living together for 61 years. Nikolai reverently cared for his wife. He bathed her, dressed her, did various physical exercises with her, invited friends over, and tried in every way to keep her in a good mood.

It was interesting for me to watch such an elderly couple from the sidelines. At that time, I was already dating my future wife. I could not imagine that people could live together for so long, go through so many trials, see such a different country, and stay together despite the challenges.

My grandmother was an invalid, and every Summer when I came to visit her, I would take care of her for several months. I would feed her, comb out her hair, and take her for a ride in her wheelchair. Perhaps the memories of my past allowed me to have a special connection to Nikolai and Lydia.

I learned of Lydia’s death from Nikolai almost immediately. Unfortunately, I couldn’t come to the funeral because I was overseas. I was very sad about not being able to support my friend at that moment. When I returned to St. Petersburg, I heard his story about how he had fed her scrambled eggs on her last night. How she had been taken away in an ambulance, and he had followed her. Finding her in the hospital corridor, he confessed his love for her, but she was already unconscious, though her eyes were open.

It was very hard for him at first. And I realized I just wanted to be there for him. To try to distract him from his sad thoughts. We began to read and publish his writings and go to museums, and concerts. That's when I realized I wanted to tell his story.

Together, we visited places that held special memories for Nikolai and Lidochka, and I listened to stories from his youth that revealed new facets of his character. I was in awe of his determination to live life to the fullest, despite losing his beloved wife. As I reflected on my own life, I realized how easy it is to take our loved ones for granted and how important it is to cherish each moment together.

Now, at 30 years old, I am happily married, and the thought of losing my spouse rarely crosses my mind. But Nikolai’s strength and perseverance have taught me the importance of living in the present and appreciating every moment with our loved ones. He may have lost his partner in life, but he has not lost his zest for life, and I am honored to tell his story.

Nikolai and Lydia. © Sasha Ivanov

Lydia and Nikolai used to spend a lot of time writing their works. Joint creative work helped them with battling and overcoming anxious thoughts. He used to say that Lidochka was living in two dimensions. One was where the poems would come to her, and the other – where she would write them down in flesh. Now he is reading those poems to their mutual friends discovering more and more meaning in them with every next time. © Sasha Ivanov

When at the dacha, the neighbors’ kids came to them to listen to the music records, play checkers, or organize a full-on concert with dancing and singing. It was always loud and merry; the house was full of life. In the evening, Lydia would sit down in that chair, combing her long grey hair preparing herself for sleep. Now, Nikolai loves to sit in this chair reminiscing about the good old days. © Sasha Ivanov

For the last few years, they slept in separate bedrooms. Now, in his wife's bedroom, everything is in the same place it was the day Lydia died. Nikolai cleans it weekly. Looking at the order in the room and the presence of things, it seems that someone still sleeps in it every day. © Sasha Ivanov

Nikolai is watching a recording of a concert Lydia took part in. In the mid-90s, Nikolai and Lydia joined the “Ostrovok” Club. It was a community of senior people, who organized amateur concerts and share their written work with the audience. At first, those were small-scale home concerts, but then they were given a facility at a local Palace of Culture. “Ostrovok” became an asylum for its participants where they could go to escape from the heavy though of that time. The club exists up to this day, and Nikolai takes an active part in its life. © Sasha Ivanov

Now, he is learning to live on his own. He maintains an active social and cultural life, visits concerts, museums, and exhibitions. The art helps him to get distracted from his loneliness. The scenery brings him back to his childhood days that he had spent in a small village in Siberia. The portraits flatter him with a possibility to see a whole other life with the eyes of the ones pictured. The photo was taken in the main hall of the Russian Museum in St. Petersburg. The last time he had been there was over 20 years ago with his late wife. © Sasha Ivanov

Military build, always in time, looking sharp with his shoulders back – these were the manners he was taught first at the Military Academy and then on duty. Nikolai was an engineer for the strategic missile forces. During his service, he had been to several cities and countries. The life of a military servant means constantly being on the move. Lydia had always been by his side. She was waiting for him to come home, raised their daughter, maintained the household wherever they had to go while her husband was in service. © Sasha Ivanov

In this fast-paced world where love often feels fleeting, Sasha Ivanov’s photographs remind us that enduring love still exists. His portraits guide us into the quiet, unwavering bond of Lydia and Nikolai — a couple who defied the passage of time and proved that love knows no boundaries of age or circumstance. Their story echoes the resilience of human connection and the quiet strength of devotion. Sasha’s work ensures that their love continues to resonate, inviting us to pause, reflect, and cherish the ones we hold dear — just as Lydia and Nikolai did for 62 years.

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